What can I say. I am me! I am Jessie. I am 26… and counting ;p. This blog was originally started as my adoptee blog, but is now more just my life blog. I was away for a long time, but discovered that I really miss blogging.
This blog is my way of sharing my thoughts and feelings with the world! So read away 
LOVE what you’ve done with the place!!
Poss. xxxxx
Thank you for everything you have written. You have described me to a T. Only I am 35, and married with 3 children. I’m in reunion with my dad after all these years, my mother is gone now (drugs etc). I don’t think I have been so happy in my life, the acceptance, support and unconditional love are all I have ever wanted and are so overwhelming. On the same side I am scared to death that I will F this up, as I do with everything. That he someday will tire of what an emotional mess I am…though I have never met anyone so dedicated to me, and helping me through this. How did I get so lucky? I am never lucky, EVER.
I wonder if I will ever feel normal.
Jess,
I just found your blog last night and I feel so relieved. Ahhhh….
I, too, read it and feel like yes, I finally found someone who is like me. What it is like to be you sounds very familiar. I found a new therapist to work with and we just began talking about bpd. Everything makes more sense.
This life is hard.
I see your posts are all from a while back; I hope you come back and begin blogging again:)
Nicole
Thanks Nicole… I think I just might
Jessie,
Thank you!! I just found your blog a couple days ago. I have known I have bpd for a while now. Never been diagnosed formally, but I have all of the classic signs and symptoms so I consider myself to be. At least having a name for it and a category to put myself into feels a LOT better than just floating along and wondering what the hell is wrong with me and who I am and all that crap. Anyway, recently I started looking around the internet at adoption resources. Yes, I was adopted at birth, but until just a few weeks ago, I didn’t realize that all that was what all these other feelings could be attributed to. And in researching some of that, I found out that a ton of adoptees have bpd. Now it’s all starting to make sense!! I came upon your blog and began reading it, and it describes me completely, right down to the relationship with my amom. The only thing I haven’t done yet is try to get in contact with my bmom or bdad. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for everything you have written. You explain the feelings so well!! I finally feel like there are other people out there who feel like I do and so maybe I am not just this crazy, psychotic person who should be locked up! Although that still remains to be seen
But thanks so much for taking the time to write and in the process to help others like us.
Caryn
Thank you for your comment Caryn. If for nothing else, all the frustration, at least my words can help someone else. I know that feeling of relief you describe, as I had it when I found out I had BPD and when I met my friend M who also had it. It was like YES I am not completely nuts!
And yep, a lot of adoptees have BPD, a LOT of them. Thats how I explained it to my Amom when she just ‘couldn’t understand where she went wrong!’ Its okay mom, I am just f’ed up because I am adopted, nevermind you!
And no you aren’t a crazy psychotic person, just another crazy adoptee
I’m so glad you’re back! Looking forward to reading more from you.
I’d love for you to check out my site, too:
thisadoptedlife.blogspot.com