A moment in a thought

My thoughts, in my life, of adoption and other such things

Children February 1, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jessie @ 7:12 pm

I don’t have any children.

I don’t have any children, but, I can sing the words to the theme song of Dora the Explorer.  I know all of the Sesame Street characters, by name, and by color.  I know more children’s songs than a Barney video.  I count to 20, out loud, at least once a day.  On average, I read five children’s books, a day.  I kiss boo-boo’s, and mend hurt feelings, I give feel better hugs.   I know how to count to three to get a point across, and get a tyke to listen.  I make cots for bed, brush hair, clean sticky faces and hand out vegetables. 

I am not a parent.

I am a daycare provider.

Sometimes I wonder if parents know when they make mistakes, I am sure they do, although mine never admitted to theirs, after all, they were the parent and they were always right. 

I made a mistake today, I have made many, but today I made a big one.  It was like reminisions of my childhood and I felt like I was about 10 inches tall.

I have a little boy, who likes to lie, well a lot of our children like to lie, so I guess I should say that this one is no different.  I was sure that he had done something, and when I asked him, he insisted that it wasn’t him.  I was angry, I insisted that I knew it was him, and he needed to stop lying to me.  He continued to insist that it wasn’t him.  This little back and forth went on for several minutes when the little boy in question started to cry, I couldn’t believe he was going on like this!  Just tell me the TRUTH!  I am, the little boy cried.  I sat him at the table, told him when he was ready to tell the truth, he could get up.  By this time, the little boy was in a real good cry, I felt bad, but he was lying to me!   After a few more minutes, I discovered that said little boy was not lying to me after all.  All this time, he was telling the truth, all this time he had been sticking up for himself and his honesty.  All this time, I had been angry at him for nothing. 

I looked at him, at his little face and his little tears and felt my heart break in two.  I thought that this poor little boy would surely never forget what I had just put him through.  I took him in my arms and cried with him and apologized.  I don’t know why this would bother me like it did, like I said, maybe just memories from the past, from my own fights for my trust and honesty (which I was never good at).  Fortunately, this little boy seemed none the worse off.  A quick game of Sesame street number’s and we were peas in a pod again, all hurts forgotten.    I made a mistake, but it is surely one I will never make again.


One Response to “Children”

  1. reunionwritings Says:

    That’s not a mistake, that’s being a wonderful adult, you told him you were wrong, you validated his feelings, and you let him see that he mattered enough for you to admit you were wrong. I think you did something wonderful.

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