A moment in a thought

My thoughts, in my life, of adoption and other such things

My Mom and I February 3, 2007

Filed under: Adoptee,Adoption,Adoption reunion,Family — Jessie @ 11:20 pm

Hmmm, what shall I say, and where do I begin. 

Right now, I am sitting in my mothers house, my amoms house.  I am spending the night.  Really for two reasons, the biggest being that the roads are bad and I live about fifteen minutes from here.  The other being that we just had an amazing night together, and I am feeling rather bonded with her. 

This is a small miracle.

To say that my mother and I havn’t gotten along the greatest is a bit of an understatement.  I never really fit into my afamily, and my amom and I were always butting heads.  Through this whole process of reuniting with Meemo (my bmom) I have found me and my amoms relationship to be particularly strained.  I was nervous to see her tonight, I was nervous on how it was going to go, and what was going to be said.  We went to see Lord of the Dance, which we had both been really excited about (the tickets were my Christmas present to her).

I decided to come over early, being that I figured this whole reunion would be a topic of discussion, and really, I wanted to talk to her about it.  I wanted to get her feelings and reassure her that she wasn’t being replaced, but I was in fact going to have a relationship with my bmom. 

The topic came up, I approached it slowly, and calmly.  It went amazing.  We just really got to talking about things, about how we felt, about how she felt.  She said she did feel replaced, but she has since realized that feeling no longer applies.  She told me that she got to have the first 24 years of my life, she got to raise me, and she got to be my mother.  She said that she thanks Amy (meemo) for that.  And that she is perfectly comfortable sharing me from now on.  We talked about some questions that I had.  We even went through all my old paperwork, I got to see the adoption papers and all sorts of other things that I had never seen.  She even gave me a poem that brought tears to my eyes.  I don’t know if I have had a moment like this with my mom in a long, long time. 

We agreed that we are going to talk more, she understands my busy schedule, and my wish to spend time with Meemo, being that this relationship is so very new. 

I wonder what I did to deserve all this.  I am just a regular girl, with regular problems and a life full of mishaps.  I now feel loved, from all directions.  Something that I havn’t felt in a long time.  I wish I could bottle these moments, these feelings, for I know that they do not last forever.  

I just keep thinking about how life really can just change, right before your eyes in ways that you never would have expected. 

 

6 Responses to “My Mom and I”

  1. Chez Says:

    WOW Jessie.
    What a great night. (thanks for sharing it)
    Sending you hugs.
    Chez. xx

  2. mom2one Says:

    You do deserve it. And I’m glad you got it.

    Blessings for you and your family, both of your moms. I hope that all adoptive moms (myself included) always remember that love isn’t finite. A child can embrace more than one mother. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.

  3. reunionwritings Says:

    She’s still your mum, she will always be your mum, reunion doesn’t take that away. It’s lovely that she says she can share you. You knowing Meemo doesn’t mean you love her less. I am so happy you guys talked about it and that it’s ok.

  4. Nancy Says:

    That’s amazing! I’m so happy to hear it’s going so well for all you guys.

  5. Jessie Says:

    ME TOO!!! I really never expected all this to go as well as it did. I really feel like I reconnected with my mom, I just really hope it lasts🙂

  6. Some other Jessica Says:

    Sometimes people are afraid of something, really afraid, and then when it happens, they find out it’s all right. She may have been terrified of losing you if you meet Meemo, but now she knows nothing’s really changed. You had two moms growing up, and now you still have two. The only difference is that you get to have a relationship with both, which is cool. Love is infinite. Happy for you!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s