A moment in a thought

My thoughts, in my life, of adoption and other such things

Gavin Rossdale December 11, 2008

Filed under: Gavin Rossdale — Jessie @ 12:17 am

Okay, I know I havn’t written here in… well like forever.  I guess I just havn’t really been in an adoptee state of mind for a while now  I do however, always think little blogs in my head and have a hard time not writing them down sometimes.  

Tonight I have one that was just begging to be written, and what the heck, I have a blog, why not write it.  

I don’t know if any of you have that one person in your life.  That one celebrity or whatever that you just attach to and for lack of a better way of putting it, fall in love with.  No I am not talking about the OMG Brad Pitt is soooo hot kind of love.  The kind that the person speaks to you in a way, and perhaps at a time when life wasn’t so easy, for whatever reason.

That person for me was Gavin Rossdale, the at the time lead singer of Bush.  Of course, it doesn’t help that he is OMG sooooo hot, and I was sooo 14 when I first laid eyes on him.  But seriously, Gavin was my man, he was my teenage obsession that lasted a long, long time.  I knew his words by heart, I knew his voice by heart.  I was absolutely positively in love with him.  I won’t go into all the mushy barfy details, but he was a constant when my life was constantly in turmoil.  His was a face that made regular appearances in my dreams.  His was the voice that got me through the hardest times of my life. 

My mother, being my mother, refused to let me go to a ‘rock concert’ even with a chaperon.  So I was never able to see him live on tour.  Every year he would come, every year he would go, and every chance to actually see him, and every hope of mine, would go with it.  I had all the t-shirts, all the cd’s, all the posters.  My walls were covered in Gavin.  God I was ridiculous.  But his words got me through.  

Years went on, and Bush came apart, and I never really heard much about Gavin after that.  The only time I heard about him was because of his wife, Gwen Stefani (I was devistated when they got married, he was finally, officially, taken).   Then one day, I was listening to the radio and I hear this song… and it sounded just like him, I knew beyond a doubt that it HAD to be him.  Love remains the same, thats what the song was called… isn’t that just a freaking kicker.  After all this time, yes, Love remains the same.  I freaked, all I could think of was OMG I hope he goes on tour again and I know, this time around, I will be able to see him.  I don’t care where he goes, I don’t care how much tickets are, nothing was going to stop me from my chance to FINALLY see him!!!  

In my town, the local hit music station puts on these little concerts, they call them listener lounges.  They put the tickets out there to their club members in the form of a raffle, you use points that you collect from listening.  Needless to say, they somehow managed to snag Gavin.  And I somehow managed to win tickets.  It didn’t even really click in to me what was going on.  I guess nothing that good ever really happens to me.  These little ‘lounges’ as they are called, are very private, only 40 people can get in.  40 people and Gavin.  I couldn’t believe it, it was fast.  I won the tickets on monday and the concert was tonight.  I didn’t have time for it to sink in.  Not to mention, I didn’t know what to expect. 

When I saw him, I couldn’t fathom it.  It was just a little thing, no ‘backstage’ no outfit changes.  Just a chair, a guitar and us.  Gavin walked in with his enturage, and it was just about pitch dark.  No one seemed to notice, I hardly noticed, I was standing in the back of the croud, and I couldn’t fathom that that could possibly be him, just standing there.  Then I walked up, and there was no mistaking, I was standing in front of my hero.  I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t much of anything. I reached out my hand and touched his arm, I think I stuttered, but I said OMG I can’t believe its really you, he smiled and his bodyguard told me they would be doing a meet and greet later, basically like ‘yeah we are working toward that chair over there, don’t draw the crowd’.  I just said Wow, I think I am going to cry, he took my hand, said ‘don’t cry’ and pulled me into a quick hug.  Even as I write this I can’t believe it happened to me.  This kind of thing just DOESNT happen to me.   He sang, he played guitar, all the while I was just in awe that he was THERE… like right there, right in front of my face there.  

Tonight, I met my hero.  My Idol, my icon, my obsession.  Tonight, I got to fulfill a teenage dream that I never thought would be possible.  Because tonight, not only did I see Gavin Rossdale perform.  I met Gavin Rossdale.  I HUGGED Gavin Rossdale… TWICE!  I got my picture taken with Gavin Rossdale, and I got his autograph.   I touched him.  I didn’t just see him from 53rd row seats in a stadium, like I would have had I gone to a concert at 15, I touched him.   I hugged him, he hugged ME!  I heard his voice, not from a distance, but from close enough to reach out and touch his fingers on the guitar.  I heard him sing close enough to see the look in his eyes.  I heard him perform my favorite song close enough so see his eyelashes.  

Tonight, was by far, the very absolutly best night of my life.